Christmas Handicap 2009

Business As Usual For Johnston as Pat Keeps Taking The Pills!

The scenery was magnificent, with crisp snow that was good for running, but the highlight of this year’s Christmas Handicap was undoubtedly the high standard of fancy dress. It was impossible to pick the best costume, but Pat’s psychedelic psyventies outfit contrasted perfectly with the whiteness of the surroundings. Was she Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds? On second thoughts, that could have been Fiona. She turned up trumps with a diamond flush dealt around her head and Queen of Hearts draped across her front; Fi was clearly playing her cards close to her chest. Mind you, if it was a perfect suit you were after, you need look no further than Johnston, man-about-town in a fine two-piece with collar and tie, who certainly displayed a mastery of his brief (case)!

Then there was Ellie, who displayed the Westies leopard-skin crop top to her advantage by turning out as Jane (a là Tarzan). Setting off around the trail just behind Ellie I did ponder the futility of chasing after a scantily clad babe with a gorilla in her arms…I thought I had learned my lesson years ago!

John H looked very dapper as jungle explorer, although I did think that the helmet was taking the pith. Christine looked great as the Woman in Red but though Helen looks great in Black, but for hapless wickedness she’s no match for Captain Jack Sparrow. Brenda said she was going to be a Mummy, but the white bandages must have unravelled somewhere; it was a pity, as Manny was a perfect zombie!

The starting line-up was completed by Steffen, Grimorr, Graham B, Colin and me.

Unfortunately, for me the spectacle of the costumes was spoiled by the race itself. For once, I successfully managed to pockle the handicapping and found myself in the lead with less than 400 to go. However, just as I was running through my victory speech in my mind, Manny sprinted past me like a wheezing zombie and maintained his advantage to win by a clear two seconds. Ach well, I haven’t won a Westies handicap since 1995, so it must be my turn soon…

Thanks also to all the others who turned out to add to the occasions; Drew (Timekeeper without a watch), Margaret (Timekeeper sorter-out), Big Al (Best dressed lumberjack), Isabel (Lumberjack’s lumber), Maureen ( I predict a return to form in 2010 for Flymo ), Gillian (Hope your plumbing gets fixed soon?), Anne ( Carbeth Inn Table Clearer Extraordinaire), Karen (Official Westies Mince Pie Supplier…if you’re quick enough) and Archie (Looking as suave as Bruce Forsyth and heading for as many comebacks)!

Results (Name, Handicap Time, Actual Time)
1. Manny, 30.20, 19.20
2. Dave, 30.22, 21.52
3. Steffen, 30.51, 22.21
4. Ellie, 30.56, 23.56
5. Helen, 31.50, 27.20
6. Grimorr, 31.57, 27.57
7. Christine, 31.58, 25.58
8. John H, 32.31, 27.31
9. Johnston, 32.46, 23.46
10. Colin, 33.21, 29.21
11. Fiona, 33.30, 33.00
12. Graham B, 34.53, 34.53
13. Brenda, 35.10, 32.40
14. Pat, 36.49, 35.19