It’s taken a while to write this but recently, other things have been more important but anyway …

The idea was not original but simple:

  • ·         Turn up with 4x 330ml unopened containers with your choice of beer or cider.
  • ·         Chug one down and run a measured lap (not being allowed to start until the container was empty)
  • ·         After a lap, chug the next one before running another lap.
  • ·         Continue until 4x beers (or ciders) have been drunk and four laps run.
  • ·         If you spew, a penalty lap must be run.


A distinguished lawyer type (lets called him John) informed us that technically, it was illegal to be drinking alcohol from open containers in public. Confident that we would not be the only ones engaged in such activity (and also confident in being able to outrun Strathclyde’s finest) we met up anyway.

Kinda took me back to my youth hanging around a public park waiting for pals to arrive with a carry out on a Friday evening. In the end nine of us lined up with beers and ciders at the ready. Following a shout of “oan yir marks, get set, go” the boys all looked shocked as a certain girl better known for her ultra-running achievements emptied a bottle down her neck quicker than it could have been poured (or so it seemed). I took off in not exactly last place but certainly not far off it.

First lap complete, I felt horrific – strategy had been to buy cheap beer that I didn’t mind spewing up and it became very clear that a spew was on the cards. Not exactly sure what was going on around me(it was dark after all) but out of the darkness came a female voice informing me that I had been “chicked” by the three girls …as if it wasn’t becoming clear that I was struggling enough already.

Since everyone else “appeared” to be doing okay, I opted for slowing to the point of still being able to drink …but burping for Scotland. Fourth beer went down …slowly and in dead last, I set out on my fourth lap. All went great …for about 10m then a burp turned out to consist of beer …lots of beer. Ever tried running AND spewing ? With my stomach empty, pace picked up and got vague memories of a cheer as I headed out onto my penalty lap.

Nae idea who was in what position and what the times were …it was never about that. Cheers to Niall, Lorna, Duncan, Craig, Paddy, Margaret and especially ma pal Sally (over from Canada) for the madness. Post run music was a great band called Larry and his Flask – you can do the YouTube thing for yourself but by the end of the gig, it was “taps aff” for all the band and a fair bit of the crowd including at least one girl – it seemed appropriate !

Larvae of a plan for a mid summer repeat  – venue & date to be confirmed in order to keep the strong arm of the law away !


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