The Two Breweries

28th Sept 1997

An exceptional turnout by the Westies for the event of the year – Pete and Elsie’s last bachalor run! Oh for such numbers more often!

Pete led the field – in the drinking race – by downing a special presentation Traquair Ale on the start-line! Elsie, not to be out-done, set off in a sexy little number of balloons and trailing beer-cans: you had to be there!

The mob trotted off down the first tarmac mile as the Westie’s support car, with the Gorman/Doonan duo, following close behind. The wummin got off to a fierce blether right from the gun and there were concerns that the conversation would dry up before the line! Big Al tried to cheat by climbing in the passenger’s side window of the car, but a brave fight by Kevin saw him off and forced him up the first hill! The support team drove to the first ‘water’ station at Glen Rath Farm and watched Mr. Rigby zoom past in first place over Dermit McGoo and Adam Wart. Armed with a half-bottle of electrolite whisky, the backup team dished out drams to those who didn’t care anymore! Pete had to be forced – but Big Al didn’t. The wummin arrived at the water station at a fierce rate of vocabulary with Jane, Helene, and Elsie all sounding like fast-forward rugby singers!

The next road crossing was at Stobo Farm where various Westies, including Matt and Ronnie, were seen to pass through without too much pain being suffered. Probably because they weren’t trying hard enough!

Little known to P.B. was the ambush awaiting him just after Trahena, where a bunch of desperados stole his running kit! The only things left for him to wear on the last mile were some girlie fatigues of the 38DD and Man from Uncle ‘badge’ nature! To his credit, Pete pressed on regardless into sleepy Broughton where he very nearly caused heart seizure on an old bird out doing some shopping! What a shocker you are Mr. Baxter. Pete finished to thunderous applause and a lot of laughing. Well done P.B. (I think you enjoyed it?). Mark missed out on victory (unbelievably) by taking a more scenic and time consuming route to the top of Trahena while Dermot McGoo raced off to win comfortably (but must have been surprised at his good fortune).

Pete was not too far in front of his missus-to-be and her chaperones. However, the miles had taken their toll on the Westies Wummin, and they had almost ran out of subjects to discuss. Down to a mere gibber, they crossed the line and Elsie fell into the arms of her beloved without noticing he had become a hermaphrodite!

All in all it was an eventful race with credit to all the gang who turned out. There was not a bad performance amongst you. The after-race entertainment was sadly dented with the Hotel being closed, but the ravers among us managed to consume plenty beer at the prizegiving before taking Pete out for a memorable Stag night in the Southsider, then jiving the night away at the infamous Mambo Club. The Hens arrived at the same venue later in the night after frequenting the Greenmantle pub. The night was young…!