Mugged!!!

Rumour has it that social standards in Inverclyde have dipped to an all-time low?!

It seems that the days are gone of only getting your wheels nicked if you where daft enough to stop your car for the Larkfield “lollipop” man in Greenock.

Now it is reported that hoodies in the mall are sporting ever more sophisticated gutties, and in particular the blue and yellow flashes of the famous Walsh PB is the current trendy must have accessory footware.

Apparently this is vital not only for looking pure mental by the way, but also for opening up until now impossible escape routes from the Polis, such as the steep Lyle Hill gorse route or up the Greenock Cut sluice.

No Panda cumfied Polis in his right mind would dare follow without a pair of the same grippy diamond studs as the villains who dared knocked our Web Masters prized trainers, alledgedly whilst he was lying down recovering from the valliant efforts on Cornalees!!!

Okay, some wicked members might suggest it was actually whilst he was still running, but I wasn’t there so couldn’t possibly comment!!

Maybe Stevie as our inside man on the Dark Side can finger someone and get his snouts on the case to have our heros gutties returned?

Or maybe they have already been actioned off to raise the £20 needed for Mortons new first-team rebuilding for the coming season…should be change for a few pies too!

Of course the lesson of this sorry tale is get your PB’s as manky as possible in as short a time as possible …and keep them that way.

I’ll bet no self respecting Greenock Tap Ender will go near them – try it next year Blair!!

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