Spa Day at Criffel Hill Race

Report by James Callender:

Weekends are a time to relax, to unwind, to pamper yourself and let the weary cares of the working week drop from your shoulders. To that end, a small group of Westies consisting of myself, Iain Stewart, Murdo Macleod and Don Reid made the journey south for a day of active rest and an indulgent mud treatment at Criffel Hill Race.

I grabbed a lift with a crew of Maryhill types (Duncan, Sarah & Davie) – the chat on the journey down revolving around the relative merits goji berries (‘Brazil’s superfood’ – lots of antioxidants) over flapjack (‘M&S Extra Chocolatey’ – lots of chocolate) as race food. We arrived with more than enough time to register, scrounge a map/compass/whistle (mine decided to stay in Glasgow) and get soaked on a warm-up jog through a deceptively boggy field in the village. On the start line Don was muttering about his hangover and I took time to pre-prepare my excuses for a poor race – ingrowing toenail and a lack of running recently being the order of the day.

Annoying group cry of "HBT!" aside, the start went well as I managed to make my way forward to pass most of the competitors. Pleasant country road turned in to pretty forest path, the sun was out and all seemed right and good with the world, and then we hit the hill. And the mud. There’d been quite a bit of rain recently and the track was more churned up than usual apparently. All thoughts of a overtaking others went out the window as moving over steep ground while remaining upright had become my number one priority. I latched on to a competent looking Dumfries runner in front of me and literally followed in his foot-steps, hoping to avoid the worst of the bog. Iain bolted past me while I was half-way up the final slope, already on his way down, looking strong and neck & neck with Stewart Whitlie of Carnethy. I think I was one of the first 10 to get to the top of Criffel but as quad-burning slog gave way to nimble descent I was passed a disgusting number of times. By the time I got there, the muddiest part of the course had taken on a Somme-like character and I was forced to adopt a stagger-fall-swim hybrid technique to get through it – double face-planting in front of a group of delighted spectators being a particular highlight. (It was Davie’s first hill race and he later complained about the distinct lack of running it offered.) Once back on the flat, brute strength & ignorance once again counted more than skill & experience, and I was able to reel in three runners before the crossing the finish line.

Exhausted, sore and caked in mud (and, in Don "I went through the fields" Reid’s case at least, blood), the finishers enjoyed an idyllic 30 mins or so sitting on the grass in the warm sun, watching others finish before going for a dip in the burn to wash-up. Well done to Iain for his close-run second place and also well done to Sarah for somehow not getting any mud on herself, an astounding (or suspicious?) achievement. A trip to Duncan’s nearby parents’ for a bowl of soup and cup of tea was a nice end to a thoroughly pleasant day. Criffel Hill Race/All-Natural Holistic Skin Treatment was a blast and, at £4, easily the best-value spa treatment on the market.

2 – Iain Stewart 0:58:45
17 – James Callender 1:08:51
32 – Murdo Macleod (M60) 1:16:16
48 – Don Reid (M50) 1:21:01